"Text me when you get home x"

 

Source: Giacomo Ferroni, Unsplash

The news cycle this week has been heavy, and at times it has felt like women can't catch a break. If you've spent longer than 5 seconds on social media in the last few days, you'll know that I'm not the only woman that's feeling like this. As I write this, the human remains found in the search for Sarah Everard have just been confirmed to be hers. Firstly, I want to send my condolences to her friends and family - what's happened to Sarah is absolutely devastating, and it is a pain that no family should have to experience. 

It shouldn't have taken Sarah Everard's case to show the world that we're not joking when we say we don't feel safe walking alone. Collectively, women are angry, saddened, and tired. We're angry that there aren't enough safety measures on the streets to allow us to survive a walk home. We're saddened that this has had to happen to Sarah in order to start up a conversation around women's safety. We're tired of being told that to avoid things like this happening, we just need to behave in a certain way, dress in a certain way, live in a certain way.

Sarah Everard did all the "right things". She phoned her boyfriend. She wore bright clothing. She wore trainers. Yet this still happened to her. We need the world to understand that no matter what we wear, whether we have headphones in or not, whether we call a close friend or family member, we are still at risk every single time we step outside alone. It's not a case of teaching women to protect ourselves, because it's not our fault when these things happen, and besides, we do all the "right things" that we're told to do instinctively, yet we're still not safe. 

Every woman has at some point shared her live location with a friend so that they know where she is if she doesn't text them for a while. Every woman has texted her friend "Text me when you get home x" just so that they can be sure that their friend made it through the journey safely. Every woman has held her keys between her fingers so that she has something to defend herself with if someone does approach her. Every woman has called their mum, their sister, their boyfriend, their dad, their best friend when they've been walking home, to try and keep themselves just that little bit safer. And every woman has felt the fear when they're walking alone and they hear footsteps behind them, and that is a fear that so few men will ever understand.

The fact we cannot even walk home alone without feeling unsafe is awful. We shouldn't have to wonder every single time we leave the house if we're going to make it back OK. Enough is enough. It's time to stop telling us to protect ourselves. Educate your sons. Talk to your mates. Call out harassment. Make sure you're there for your female friends. Take our concerns seriously, because with 97% of young women reporting that they've been sexually harassed, it is so clear that this is a real issue. None of us want another case like Sarah's to happen, but the reality is that if things don't change, these cases will continue to happen.

Don't let Sarah Everard be just another name. It's time to change our society and make it safer for everyone. The work starts now.